He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize