just tell him i said nine months
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
