My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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