We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
