no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
