windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize