I puked a lego.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Randomize
