thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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