White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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