Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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