didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
