So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
