there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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