very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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