butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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