good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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