I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize