Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
