Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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