threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize