8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm experimenting with sincerity
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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