I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Too much gin, very little bucket
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
