I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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