Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
