Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
