You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
