I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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