So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
