when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
