Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize