I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
