I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
