Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
