no, he came in my armpit
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
