I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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