everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
