He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
