I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
