how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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