did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
