no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We had to coat check the pizza.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
