she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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