So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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