I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
