what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
