how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
