Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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