i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
