some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
