he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
