quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
