I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
