Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
