You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
