chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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