If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
