You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
