Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
