how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Still dying that you shit outside
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How does it feel to date your dad?
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