No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i've created a new STD.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
