Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
