I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
