is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
