I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize