I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
