is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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