i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We got so high we made milksteak
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
