I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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