So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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