birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
