Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
