I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
